Jayfeather and Stickstar
by ixBolt
Summary: Oh Stick is now named Stickstar! But now Jayfeather has to face many troubles along the way to make Stickstar's name known...


"Jayfeather, put. It. Down." Leafpool warned while eating catnip.

Jayfeather held his beloved broken stick up close and looked away. "No. I will NOT. I repeat, NOT take the risk for my baby ever again."

Leafpool did a face-paw. "Alright. If you put the stick down I will give you catnip."

He twitched an ear. "CATNIP!" he screamed, and slapped Leafpool. After she passed out he grabbed three pieces of catnip, stuffed them into his mouth, and waddled away, still holding his stick.

.

.

.

Jayfeather waddled like a penguin up highrock to say an announcement(Firestar let him because Jayfeather traded with catnip.)

Dustpelt whispered to Ferncloud, "Man, he's getting fat these days. Probably because of the catnip."

Ferncloud giggled. "Jayfeather's so fat that his fart cause global-warming."

Dustpelt yowled so the whole clan can hear. "JAYFEATHER'S SO STUPID THAT WHEN HE GOT LOCKED IN A GROCERY STORE HE STARVED TO DEATH! OH NO NOT NEXT TO THE BEEF JERKY!"

Soon Jayfeather jokes erupted in the clan, and Firestar even joined in.

"JAYFEATHER'S SO UGLY THAT EVEN HELLO KITTY SAID GOODBYE!"

"JAYFEATHER'S SO HAIRY THAT BIGFOOT TOOK HIS PICTURE AND SENT IT TO FACEBOOK!"

"JAYFEATHER'S SO STUPID THAT HE THOUGHT SEAWEED WAS SOMETHING THAT FISH SMOKED!"

"JAYFEATHER'S SO FAT THAT HE GOT ARRESTED FOR CARRYING TEN POUNDS OF CRACK! (BUTT)"

The clan roared with laughter, while poor, poor Jayfeather stood there for everyone to see, on the highrock, cuddling his broken stick up close, whispering, "it'll be okay, they're just not them today. Don't cry, oh stick."

"JAYFEATHER'S SO STUPID THAT HE THOUGHT CATNIP WAS ILLEGAL IN THE CLAN!" Rosekit called. The whole clan gasped.

Jayfeather cleared his throat. "Now that you'll be quiet. I have an announcement to make."

The clan booed.

He rolled his eyes. "And I think that catnip is awesome."

The clan yayed.

Jayfeather held up his broken stick. "YOU SHALL PRAISE THIS OH STICK! WE SHALL CALL HIM STICKSTAR AND HE SHALL BE OURS AND HE SHALL BE OUR STICKSTAR!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!" The whole clan cheered.

"But what about Firestar?" Rosekit asked.

Jayfeather used Stickstar as a puppet. "He shall be exiled!" Stickstar declared.

The cats exchanged glances. Firestar hid in his little corner and weeped. The cats took pity and shook their heads. "After all, Stickstar is only a stick," Hollyleaf meowed.

Stickstar gasped. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME?! I SHALL BE BOWED DOWN TO, NOT DENIED! YOU SHALL BE EXILED, HOLLYLEAF!"

"Awwwww. Wait." Hollyleaf dashed into her den and appeared with a huge suitcase and a plushie of Dora. "I SHALL LEAVE THIS FORBIDDEN CLAN!" she declared, then wiggled her butt at the cats.

They gasped.

"SHE WIGGLED HER BUTT!"

"IT IS CLEAR THAT SHE WANTS TO LEAVE US!"

"NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE WELCOME YOU!"

And all the cats wiggled their butts at Hollyleaf, and she fled into the night.

"NEVER COME BACK!" Jayfeather called after her. Suddenly broken sticks started raining down. Everyone grabbed one and made out with it.

.

.

.

Now, Ashfur was still in StarClan, suffering Bluestar's-

"HIIIIIIIIIII-YAAAAAA!" Bluestar chopped Ashfur's head again.

"BLUESTAR THAT IS ENOUGH!" Oakheart screamed. He dropped a bomb at Ashfur's feet and sent him back to ThunderClan, The Clan of Sticks.

Meanwhile, Jayfeather was humming to the beat of I'm Sexy and I Know It. Andddddd….. he was taking Stickstar a bath. "Oh oh! This is my favorite part! Ready? WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE YEAH! WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE YEAH! I DO THE WIGGLE MAN!"

Suddenly they heard yowling as it came closer and closer, and then-

POW.

Ashfur fell into the bathing hole, killing Stickstar. Jayfeather gasped. "MOVE!" he screamed at the gray tom and began digging, but all that was left was splinters. For days he grieved, and cats offered him their sticks, but he refused. "THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER STICKSTAR! I LOVED HIM SO MUCH!" **(yes, Jayfeather's gay)**

But that's when the mystery cat appeared…

**WANNA FIND OUT WHO THE MYSTERY CAT IS? HUH? HUH? COMMENT WHO YOU THINK IT IS! It's actually pretty easy to guess.**


End file.
